Miscarriage is a common occurance. Statistics say that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. So if you haven’t had a miscarriage yourself, you probably know someone who has.
As a healthy woman who has been through a healthy pregnancy and delivery once before, you would assume that you’re in the clear. Right? It’s not that you think that you are above having a miscarriage, you would just assume that all of your parts work.
My oldest was a healthy 4 year old when we got pregnant with our second child. We were elated, told everyone immediately (we had no reason not to, miscarriage never crossed my mind). All of the excitement ended 12 short weeks later. I found out in a very traumatic way that I had miscarried and needed a D & C immediately.
“Why God, I did everything right? “
This leads me to the misconceptions that I had of miscarriage:
- If you have a healthy child, there is no reason to fear miscarriage. This is false. God is Lord of all, He giveth life and taketh life away. His timing is much better than ours. Proverbs 3:5-6 says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.” I don’t understand miscarriage and I won’t until I am face to face with my maker, but take heart He has overcome the world, I think He knows what is best for us.
- It happens all the time, there is no reason to be upset. That is the farthest thing from the truth. I was angry, very angry. Why God, I did everything right?
- Just try again, then you can move forward and forget. You will never forget. You prayed for this baby, you loved this baby. This baby was a part of you. How could you forget?
After my miscarriage, I was angry, bitter, and down right depressed. I wanted nothing more than to get pregnant again to replace the void I felt. It got to the point to where sex became a job and not enjoyable (even to my husband, who was a champ through it all). During this time (and every other time) my husband was my rock. He was my shoulder to cry on, and the support I needed. (Side Note: I thought I loved him when we met, I didn’t realize that my love for him would grow so much stronger with each passing day and through the trials we faced.)
My Mom, who was also an angel during this time (and every other time) in my life, prayed with me and for me. She would tell me not to worry God was going to bless us with another baby and to just relax and trust in Him. I was angry with God though. Trust in Him? He took my baby.
It took me a few months to realize that going my own way was not working. So, I fell to my knees and told Him I was ready to give it to Him. Sex became fun (what He intended it to be with your husband) again, and not like a chore. And I started to feel God’s peace and comfort.
I was pregnant within 2 months.
I am not saying this is how your story will be. We all have a journey, and our journey’s are all different.
What I can tell you is this:
- Pray first. Always Pray first. Tell Him that you are angry with Him, He can handle it. He will speak to your hurting soul and help you to become less bitter.
- Trust in Jesus during the hard times and He will give you the peace that you need to go through the struggle with joy. You can find rest in Jesus. Matthew 11:28 says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened , and I will give you rest.” You don’t have to do this alone.
- In due time, the Lord will fill your void, and show you His will for your life. God didn’t promise that we wouldn’t have pain and hurt in this world. He did promise peace, healing, guidance, and eternal life.
Look to Jesus in your trials and tribulations, He will join you in the midst of the fire.
Psalm 23 says “The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. Even when I walk through the valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.”
He prepares a feast in the presence of your enemies. This means that in the midst of your pain, Jesus is there with you, if you allow Him to be.
•Are you allowing Jesus to sit at your table in the midst of your pain?•